In this video, Dr Tony Weston unpacks the psychology of trauma bonds — why you feel pulled back to someone who hurt you, and why that pull isn’t proof of love. Using the Lifelong Capacities Map®, he explains how patterns like this are actually signals that key skills are underdeveloped, not evidence that you’re broken.
You’ll see how trauma bonds often reflect gaps in:
1.2 Adaptive Emotional Processing – slowing desire down enough to ask, “Is this excitement or danger?”
4.4 Secure Relational Boundaries – saying no to exploitation and reclaiming space to choose differently.
8.2 Somatic Attunement – noticing the difference between jittery, volatile attraction and calm, steady connection.
Through a real case example and clear practices, you’ll learn how to separate danger from desire, understand what your nervous system is trying to protect, and begin to move from painful trauma bonds toward relationships that are genuinely safe, steady and nourishing.